can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
