she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
