Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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