He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
