My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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