OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
