I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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