Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
