It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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