and i looked up. we had an audience...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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