I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
