oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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