I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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