I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The best revenge is premature balding
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
