I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
