stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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