And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
