please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
