I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
