see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
