you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
