Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
