Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
