Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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