think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Two words: nipple clamps
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