You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
