She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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