i think i have two assholes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
