I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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