covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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