I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
