the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
