Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
