I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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