You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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