i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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