What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
did i just pee glitter
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
