a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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