He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
