Kiss
Puke
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
