you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
