beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You're like the curious george of whores
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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