Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
