If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize