put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
