I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
