i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
