They should really pass out barf bags in church
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
