I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
