the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
