I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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