Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
